To the person I once loved… You’ve destroyed me and turned me into someone I do not recognize.

To the person I once was, you will find your way back to who you were before the person you once loved destroyed you.

Love can often times be blinding and harmful. I have gotten to the point in my life where I can no longer put you before myself. I am drowning and I cannot breathe. I need a way out and it is now my time to shine and be the person I once was. I have given my all to you and I cannot ever get that time back. But- I can now take the time to put myself first. My happiness, and my mental health are a priority- whether you believe it to be or not. I cannot continue to let you take from me, and drain me and I get nothing in return. I am miserable and I do not want to feel that way with the person I once loved.

I just want her back. I want to love her, and tell her it will all be okay (even when it isn’t okay) because it will be. Love should be with someone who lifts you up, and doesn’t tear you down, degrade you, or invalidate you. Love does not destroy your persona or your mental health. Love is joyful, love it healing. Love should not hurt this much when you are still together. Love is time you invest within one another. Love is fun, love is bashful, love is exciting. Love should be a beautiful experience where you want to flourish in each other’s presence, not where you feel like you have lost yourself.

I want to take away from this the love that was once shared, the memories that were once created, with the person I once loved. Our love we once shared shall not define us and the people we are meant to be. Our love was not wasted, but it was a chapter that shall now close. I appreciate the love, light, laughter, and memories that were once created between us. I do not regret the time we had together because I learned a lot within myself, and the boundaries I am NOT willing to give up within my next relationship. Our love was exciting, messy, fun, and beautiful all at once while it lasted. Our next chapter would be beautiful if we could remain civil and as friends, but you are not grown enough to handle that.

To the person I once loved, I shall no longer take from you the same treatment my father has given me. I deserve better, and I will receive better. The hardest pill to swallow has been accepting my daddy issues, and seeing that you project those same characteristics and traits as him, and that is why I have chosen to stay for so long. I have finally gotten to my wits end and can no longer handle dealing with it. I do not deserve to be treated this way from another person who isn’t my father. Shouldn’t one be enough? Or what do you think is enough? I no longer want or choose to accept this form of self hatred for myself. I do not want to continue to be manipulated and treated the same way my father has treated me in the past. I want more than that. To the person I once loved, you were good to me while it lasted, and you have taught me so much, but it is time to grow on my own and find my own path from here. I hope you can understand even with the hurt that you are about to endure. From strangers, to best friends, to lovers, to spouses, to strangers all over again. Now we just push on forward with all the memories and love we once shared in the back of our minds.