For a while now I have been struggling with my sense of self. I don’t know who I am anymore and I’ve been struggling for weeks. I’ve been trying to figure out who I am, especially without my other half and I just have been stuck in a massive depressive and suicidal rut. Life’s been a whirlwind of emotions and chaos and I’m trying to figure things out as they come and I’ve been trying to fully understand what’s going on. I’m not going to lie, I’m not doing so good. I messed up terribly last year, and today I’m paying the consequences. I miss my twin flame immensely, and all I can do at this point is pray. Pray for his healing, his happiness, and his forgiveness. I pray that if and when the time is ever right that we cross paths again. I didn’t want to give up, but there was nothing more I could do or say to change their mind. I believe in God and the power of prayer. I pray that one day he and I will cross paths again and this time for the last time so we can live out the rest of our lives together. I am by no means perfect, and neither was he. I’m only human, I make mistakes and all I can do is learn and grow from them. I believe that only God can judge me. I need to heal and forgive myself before I even think about moving on with my life. Life isn’t easy, and I got dealt a shitty hand. I ruined the one great thing I had going for me and there’s no amount of I’m sorry’s in the world for me to fix or change what happened. Everyday I will continue to pray for your comeback. I pray that you miss me as much as I miss you. I pray that God heals your heart and your mind and that one day if we ever cross paths we can put this behind us without any external factors or people getting in the way of OUR decision. Because that’s just it, it’s our lives and only we can decide how we want to move forward. I love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever. There’s a common misconception that because I messed up that it means I never loved or cared about you. That’s completely false. I made a bad choice, I sinned, and I let the devil lead me into temptation. I am not my bad choice I made. It will not define me. I know now what I did was wrong and I have learned from my sin. I repent my sins and know that I will never let that happen again. Until the day I die I will continue to love you and hold a special place for you in my heart. I miss you so much you have no idea. Here’s to the next lifetime.