Everyone talks about the hard parts of post partum. They warn you, but you’re never really prepared until you’re in the thick of it. It’s lonely, it’s filled with rage, it’s overwhelming, it’s frustrating, it’s overstimulating, it’s exhausting. All of these things can make you feel so low, like you hit rock bottom. All you can do is show up and continue to try your best. Although, it never seems good enough. There’s nights where you’re up watching your baby sleep because you’re proud of what you created, there’s nights where your baby doesn’t sleep so you’re up with exhaustion. There’s nights where you want the peace and quiet of the world to yourself so you feel like you can just take a moment. There’s nights where you’re up wanting to scream and cry because motherhood is a lonely journey (even when you have a village of support behind you). Unless you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to understand. The sleepless nights that lead to negative thoughts. The nights that leave you questioning yourself and the choices you’ve made. The nights that leave you wondering if you’re doing enough and if you’re doing things right. The nights that make you question your existence and if this is something you were made to do. Motherhood is lonely. Motherhood is beautiful. Motherhood is overwhelming. Motherhood is exhausting. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself, you’re never really ready. The darkness sets, and the depression creeps in. Anxiety rolls around the corner and all you can think about is ending it- but you can’t. You created a human that needs you and that depends on you for everything right now. Although it’s a hard stage right now to be in, it doesn’t last forever and you’ll miss the nights when they’re this little. They grow so fast. The sleepless nights will all be worth it someday. Today I keep showing up, and being brave for the human I’ve created.